Happy Birthday to me!!!

Happy birthday to me!!!
Tonight I’m getting 19 already.

This morning I got my first presents.

1. Cup-cake tins

4. And an ELLE magazine

3. A cook book to write recipes in. (getting so exited to try some new ones)

4. Three bracelets with quotes on them

My week in Photos No. 2 + 3

BBQ with family// flea market// getting my new bike// studying// going through some old pictures// nice hot summer wetter// studying// barefoot in the rain// twister helping me study

I am sorry for the rubbish quality of the photos.

Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass, it is about learning to dance in the rain

 

With my body I catch the worm rain drops,

Rain drops that fall down the sky in June.

Water splashes when my feed hit the ground,

the grass between my toes.

 

I take a look up in to the sky.

The world stands still.

I spin,

and make the world go

round and round

Thunder sounds above me.

Lightning lights my way.

 

Nothing,

nothing feels as good as

dancing in the rain.

The hard truth

So I was in doubt about posting this, but then I figured, hey this is my blog and I started it to have fun and to do thing I normally wouldn’t. And posting this would mean that the change I will work these problems out will increase, because it is out in the open, the facts are exposed on the internet and therefore in front of me to see. So even though I feel this might be a little to much of me showing, I will put it up. So here I go!!

This week some things have got to me. It all started Monday the 10^th when my mom and I drove to Groningen to get my bike. I was telling her how nervous and scared I actually was for me to start my first day of work coming Thursday. Where she answered with “where aren’t you scared of?”. I did want to answer that one, but I just couldn’t find anything where I don’t get nervous or anxious about. And that is something I had not realized before. I know it is not a bad thing to be a little nervous about something (it’s completely normal), but that’s my point, I don’t get a little nervous, when I’m nervous it isn’t normal at all anymore, I just literally die a little. I mean when something big, new and unfamiliar is about to happen I get sick, nausea and a lot more.

An other thing my mom has sad to me the same way (she just dropped it, I do that as well if I don’t want to hurt anyone, but what I am telling is secretly the truth) is this: My mom and I where looking through old pictures of me (I had to do that for an assignment from my course) and noticed I lived at 5 different places. My mom “that explains your fear of commitment”. At first I thought “I don’t have a fear of commitment”, but when I started thinking and took a look over relationships and friendships I have had during my life, I noticed that (especially the last 5-6 years) I’ve done a variations of things to push people away and then when I barely saw people I made myself believe that they where mean and vicious (what was not the truth, I saw that every time I met them again).

So she might actually be right with those “accusations”. For me this means I have another thing to work on for this year (like I haven’t planned enough).

So just to explain of what kind of things I am actually scared off:
- New things (like starting a job somewhere where I’m not familiar)
- When I don’t know what is ahead for me (so this year I scares the living daylights out of me)
- To go alone (for example; to a shop that is just across the street, but anywhere really)
- When my feature or just anything important is depending on a situation or experience. And if you think I feel save and calm at home you’re wrong, because then I will daydream and make a situation what “again” scares the living daylights out of me. (sigh…..)

I don’t think it is anything really serious, “yet“, but I think it is a smart thing to do to work on this. With a little help of my family, my blog and some positive thoughts I probably can sort this out, if not, I will find another way.

So this all means that I have to force myself to do things I would normally not, things that scare me or make me nervous. Bring it on!!!

I believe it have been a long time ago since I’ve posted such a serious and exposing post in a while. Less serious post will be up soon as well J

My week in Photos No. 1

All the other birds took all the birdhouses, so only the feed tray was left to lay her eggs in.

 

I spend the day at my moms shop, these things are containers for your lenses. cute aren't they?

 

Studying hard for my courses in the sun.

 

My new hair colour

A couple of weeks a go I’ve cut my hair (nothing special). But the hair dresser did not quite listen. Where I’ve told her to not to cut off to much (nothing more as a have cm) she did and now I personally think the layers look a little awkward.(But I’m probably not the first one where this happened to) And to turn it around I decided I needed a new hair colour. And of course the colour on the box doesn’t mach the colour my hair became, but never the less I like it.

I have no idea why my hair looks so much more red then it actually is.

 

Dress: H&M

Sunglasses: Topshop

 

No one got injured

Last weekend I had another family weekend. This time with the family at my fathers side. Now you probably wonder what I mean with my title. Well, ever since we started a family weekend every year, there had not been one where everybody got home without any injuries. Last year for example, one of my uncles broke his teeth during a competition; who gets first over the finish line (in the tops of the trees). The years before that people broke bones, but not this year.

Yes my family loves a little competition, they always want to be the best and they will go a little bit farther then they actually could.

This year only phones broke (phones and water don’t always see eye to eye).

I enjoyed the weekend a lot (a little distraction is always good).

I’ve tried some archery and surprised myself, I wasn’t as bad as I thought I would be. I mean I’ve hit the balloon when I was supposed to. Not that it went well from the first try, my arrow hit the object of the other team (I aimed to the one of us).

After shooting some arrows we went and sit down by the fire for some chatting.

Sleeping was one of the things I had not enjoyed. When I went to bed, my toes where frozen (I wasn’t wearing proper shoes for the night) and they kept me awake. Just when I almost fell asleep my adorable three year old niece (not so adorable then) started to cry and scream in her sleep (something she apparently does often), for her to be quiet you had to first wake her up, but she couldn’t hear her mom. So you can understand after no sleep in the weekend I was pretty exhausted.

I’ve had good conversations, good tips (always welcome) and some lovely time with my younger nieces that dragged my every where to show me stuff and to play with me.

The keep it short, it was lovely to see everybody again. I had a great time.


How was your weekend?

xx