My blog is moving!!

For a while now I’ve been pondering about whether I should take the next step and move my blog and get a domain. Perhaps you’ve already guessed by the title  I made the decision to go for it. Mostly because I haven’t been too happy about the content I’ve been putting up and I feel a new place to blog is a great fresh start. My blog name will be the same as now and I will take a few posts from here with me, short stories mostly. You will find me here.

I plan to most more regular, but at the same time take the time to do it right (just so I’m content with what I put up). It won’t be a completely different blog when you go over there, I still plan on doing monthly favourites (things I love on the new blog), I will post more on my mental health (social anxiety and OCD), more short stories, more on (my take on) fashion, adventures I will be on and every so often a recipe.

http://www.themyrtaceae.com/

January favourites 2016

Normally the beginning of January brings excitement and energy to start the new year, to change everything. But this time I barely couldn’t move myself. It had a bit of a blue Monday feel to it, blegh would be the only way to describe it. The idea that I have no clue to what is coming (something you can’t really know anyway, I know) of having no idea where to start, what the next step is going to be overwhelmed me. Throughout my life I always had a plan, a clear idea where I’m heading, some fantasy how my life was going to be from day to day. Alright, they were never true, they never happened and often realized it wasn’t what I thought it was or what I wanted. But for a short period of time I felt like I knew what was waiting for me.
But at the moment, no matter how hard I try I just don’t know and that makes me afraid, it makes me feel I’m not in control (which obviously you can’t be for a 100%). You can’t prepare if you don’t know what is coming and that is difficult for someone who wants to prepare for everything.

My surroundings haven’t been stress free. A little while ago I told you about someone close ended up in the hospital, well this someone still isn’t quite up with recovering. Which brings a whole set of worries. And there are some other little things.

I think that all those thoughts that wander through my mind, all those worries and all things that happen without me having any kind of control has had its influence on my OCD. Because lately it has been really bad. It seems I can’t do anything to get some grip on it. It sometimes feels like I’m in a deep pit filled with water and slippery walls with nothing to hold on to.

And something a bit sillier, but something that doesn’t make me feel great. My hair, I’m growing out my pixie cut and wait till my hair has grown into a short bob. But I find myself in this awkward stage where nothing I try to do with my hair makes it looks good or even presentable. I knew of course that this awkward stage would come, it always happens when you try to grow your hair out. But hair takes so slow to grow and I only need a centimeter or five.
And at last I’ve been feeling as if spring is just around the corner. I have felt such a craving to organize my wardrobe get through all of my summer/spring clothes and sort it out. Normally this doesn’t happen until march. I gave in and threw out a lot of clothes and now I’m left with only bits of outfits and need to go on a hunt to fill the holes up. I suppose I just need some change, a change of mind, a change of scenery, a change of setting. A bit more of a positive surroundings, a bit more colour in wardrobe (it consists of mostly red, orange and black. I feel a bit bored of it and in need of greens and blues) and in life (I need flowers to blossom).

Paint:
This month I got a bit more creative, I have been painting, drawing and making collages. I got finally around using this paint and I’m a fan.

My father’s old cardigan:
It’s big and I can fit my whole body in it if I would want to, all I need to do is crawl up. I have been feeling cold so much that I always wore this sweater over my clothes when I’m at home.

Diary 2016, flow:
It’s my first Diary which contains a calendar year, and it is a great one. It’s filled with many quotes, for every week one, pretty patterns. It came with a little notebook, and I love notebooks. But above all it is pretty and handy.

December favourites 2015

I know I’m late with writing this post. I had planned this post a week ago, however I couldn’t make myself do much somehow. Perhaps it was the icy weather that caused icefree, people were ice skating on the roads, having fun. It felt as if everybody around me wasn’t working either.

But perhaps that wasn’t the only reason. After December has a rhythm, a schedule that didn’t quite suit me, I tried to find one that does. However, I’m still finding out what my perfect schedule or weekly rhythm is, especially since I want to approach this year differently, having other priorities. I decided to go for a different approach, because every start of the year my mind makes huge planes, creates massive unrealistic dreams that I can’t really make happen. I set the bar so high every year and most of the times this lead to me being disappointed at the end of the year or freaked out when there was a setback, because that wasn’t the plan. That’s why this year I will discover day by day, deal with things when they are here. And not worry about it in advance, thinking about all the possible things that might go wrong before it even happened.
I’v learned in the past year that sometimes it’s better to take small steps and actually move forward than take a big step but ending worse than I started. Only small goals over a small period of time.
You can’t plan too far ahead and it has no point of worry about things that might or might not happen in the future, because there is no way to know what lies ahead. Sometimes unexpected things happen.

I’m curious about what 2016 has to bring, but I guess I have to wait and see. And enjoy the small thing along the way.
Red lipstick: For a while it was stored in a bag without being used, but lately I’ve been grabbing the lipstick and loving it. Either to lightly dap it and using it like a lip stain or just full on red.

Socks, Primark: They're the best socks I have in my draws. They're cozy, comfortable, they don’t slip down or suffocate my legs. Perfect for the cold icy weather we had last week.

Fluffy slippers, H&M: I have been wearing them nonstop when I’m inside.

Pyjama pants, H&M: I know last month they have been in my favourites too, but I couldn’t help myself loving them just as much as last time.

Clothes closeup week 4, it's Christmas!

 

 

 

December 21
Skirt: Second-hand
Shirt: Asos
Tights: Primark
Necklace: England Stone Henge

December 22
Sweater: Asos
Trousers: Secondhand

December 25
Shirt: Topshop
Jumpsuit: American Apparel
Necklace: On Holiday

I made it, it's Christmas, I've posted 25 posts in one

I made it, it’s Christmas, I’ve posted 25 posts in one month.

 

 

 

My face for Christmas, Tomorrow it's Christmas

Originally I planned this post to be different.  I planned there to be a picture of me with a Christmassy makeup look that I would where on 25^th. However, there are two problems with that. 1. I just didn’t feel comfortable with having a picture of my face up-close right now. 2. As it turns out (of course I knew this already) I sort of suck at doing makeup and nobody would learn anything from it or gets inspiration for the 25^th. So there will be no picture or explanation on how I will do my makeup, instead I will go through what I will use and some of my accessories.

Mascara: Maxfactor 2000 calorie
Blush: Hema
Highlighter: Hema. I was on the hunt for a highlighter when I came across this one for only €5 and it is a pretty one as well
Browdrama & Brow satin: Maybeline.
Color tattoo 24h: Maybeline
Eyeshadow: Bodyshop
Infallible 24h matte foundation: L’oreal Paris. My first proper foundation I ever bought.

Lipstick: Chanel, Rouge coco 36 Lune Rousse. I bought it a couple of years ago, because I thought the colour was exactly what I was looking for. I had never spent so much on a lipstick and it is only now I actually wear it.

Headband: Asos. I bought this one in the sale. I wanted a headband for a while, but could never find one for a reasonable price and pretty until I saw this. It’s perfect for making my hair look cute, especially now since I’m growing out my hair again.
Perfume: vanilla fragrance from the Bodyshop. I love the smell of vanilla, so it was only a matter of time I would buy myself the fragrance in perfume form. 

 Earrings: &other stories

What about December, 1 day until Christmas

The last couple of days this month I really struggled with finding posts to fill up what is left of my 25 posts in a month challenge. It’s because of this that I decided to write about how I experienced this past month’s challenge.

Well, it wasn’t quite what I expected. I expected it would be easier I suppose, that it would take less time and that my anxiety would be less triggered. I had no space left to do anything else creative, which I had planned. My head was constantly filled with to do lists and would go over and over those lists out of worry I would not make it.
This December I’ve done a lot of things that lay far away from my comfort zone; filming in public areas, in two of my posts, my face is to be seen (yes I feel insecure about  that), I have been posting posts and videos that could be read by anyone that is familiar and anyone who is not and I even give my opinion on something. Alright, I knew most of this already, I’ve always felt a little nervous when I posted something. But normally there was some time in between where I could pretend I did not or at least to get used to it. Now it was something that needed to be happening every single day.

Not that it was all bad, I have learned a lot about myself and my blog. Had a lot of practice with editing. Learned that I much rather take the time to create a post and create it the best I can than to do it quickly because it needs to be up soon. I feel much more confident that way. I discovered what posts I like to make and which ones I don’t. For example, I discovered that I really enjoyed making the clothes close-up videos (week 1, week 2 & week 3) more than I thought I would. So much even that I might make it into a monthly thing (not weekly, I do not have that many clothes). Don’t you worry my blog won’t turn into a fashion blog, there are people who can do that better, it will only be something extra to enjoy.
I’ve learned more about what direction I want my blog to take.

But above all I proved myself I could do this, I had my doubts. And of course to push myself out of my comfort zone is a good thing too.

Inspiration for the new year, 2 days until Christmas

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Because this year has only a few more days left I thought it was a good time for a small dose of inspiration for the year that comes.