A chapter closed

Thanks to my therapy I have learned a lot, I got more open and that is not just me who noticed it’s everyone around me that does. I have changed a lot and feel a lot better in my own skin now.
Not that it all have been oh so much fun, it wasn’t (except for the breaks with the others). I had to get over my own boundaries every single day to expand my comfort zone and that is the most scary and exhausting thing you can do I think. The last month I took a huge sprint so I could get everything out of therapy that I needed. Doing as such was very intensive, because you are constantly confronted with yourself, your fears and your problems. And those things I have been hiding from for many years.


And for six months I had no breaks, no rest moments. You might understand that everything about me is exhausted, my brain, my body and it really have begun to show. My skin is full of red spots, break outs. My body has lost weight (not that I could afford that, I have always been skinny) and is always hungry, I don’t believe I have ever eaten so much and so many times. The first moment I really realized I lost weight was when I was looking through some old pictures from a year ago, in my face it was very much showing. Another thing that I noticed was that I have never been so many times sick in six months, it was almost every other month, and with sick, I mean really sick, more sick than I have been in years.


Now I don’t want to complain, because it brought me very far and was worth every little bit. It helped me to live with my anxiety, how to deal with it and have helped me to be less anxious in general. It has made me stronger.


And now it is time to say goodbye and close this chapter.

(This card is what everybody gets when he or she says goodbye at therapy at the UCP, and so did I. It's filled with lovely messages and pictures that fits me. I loved me and made me realize I will going to miss all of them. Together with missing them, I find it terrifying I will have to do this on my own now.)