Sick to my stomach I felt, the colour of my face disappeared, my body trembled, when I was walking towards the street where my shaming would happen. The Herenstraat in Groningen, it was crowded with people. I took a deep breath and turned myself around. I started to walk backwards. I felt the eyes of people burning in my back, out of the corners of my eyes, I saw some people pointing and giggling at me. I felt awkward. I started to walk faster, so it would end sooner. I crossed my imaginary finish line and turned again. Walking as fast as I could away from the shame and the people.
You might wonder where I was talking about, or why I would walk backwards down a busy shopping street. Well, this is what happened. In therapy they told me it would be could if I would do a shaming. A shaming? A shaming is something weird, out of the ordinary, something where you feel ashamed or awkward doing and that is normal, because everyone would feel weird when doing a shaming, simply because it is something not many people would even consider doing. A shaming is not your goal, it is something to help you to get to your goal. When you do a shaming, you’re terrified, but when you have done it, most things you first think are terrifying seem to be a lot easier and less scary or terrifying to do.
Now we know what a shaming and why you would do that, does it work? I can say yes, it does work. But walking backwards down a busy street with people looking, pointing and laughing at you was horrible. Not that I blame the people, because when I’m honest, I think I would do the same. It is a bit weird. But the feeling of shame and awkwardness is worth it, it made doing all the things I had in front of me to do and that terrified me a lot easier and nothing compared walking backwards.
You might wonder where I was talking about, or why I would walk backwards down a busy shopping street. Well, this is what happened. In therapy they told me it would be could if I would do a shaming. A shaming? A shaming is something weird, out of the ordinary, something where you feel ashamed or awkward doing and that is normal, because everyone would feel weird when doing a shaming, simply because it is something not many people would even consider doing. A shaming is not your goal, it is something to help you to get to your goal. When you do a shaming, you’re terrified, but when you have done it, most things you first think are terrifying seem to be a lot easier and less scary or terrifying to do.
Now we know what a shaming and why you would do that, does it work? I can say yes, it does work. But walking backwards down a busy street with people looking, pointing and laughing at you was horrible. Not that I blame the people, because when I’m honest, I think I would do the same. It is a bit weird. But the feeling of shame and awkwardness is worth it, it made doing all the things I had in front of me to do and that terrified me a lot easier and nothing compared walking backwards.
It is something that I didn't really like doing, but what really helped me and something I will remember whenever I look up against doing something.
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