Goodbye 2014, Hello 2015

2014 has come to an end, something I not the slightest sad about. For my family and me 2014 has been a year of stress and let-downs. Of course, this doesn’t mean it has been a year of waste. A lot has happened, I’ve finished my therapy, the progress I’ve made with my anxiety has been tremendous considered the difference from me sitting at home too afraid to even walk the dog to where I stand now. But the overall vibe of 2014 hasn’t been great, with my biggest setback the first and only week as a journalist, student, I don’t believe I ever had this big of a panic attack: no sleep, throwing up and many thoughts that haunted my mind. To be honest would this not have happened, I wouldn’t find my course. Something that fits and something I love doing in a group I feel comfortable enough to share the stories I’ve written, receiving feedback and also giving feedback. Which isn’t an easy thing for me.

As for 2015, not much will be needed to make it a better and more positive year. Although I still need to make progress in my anxiety, as I’ve noticed it is still a big thing that sits in the way. There are still many moments I want to start a conversation or when I just want to talk back, but no words will come from my mouth. The only words that in such a situation will come out are yes and no, those aren’t much efficient. It isn’t that my mind goes black, many sentences form in my head but nothing comes out. Another thing that bothers me is that I still get very anxious about the silliest things, that don’t need to be worried about.

                I will make an effort to be more positive and push myself to make progress. For a fresh beginning of a new year we decided to write all the negativity, all the things we do not wish to see back in 2015 on a piece of paper who we will set to fire. So that those things will stay in 2014.

On to my New Year’s Resolutions:

1. Write More!!The new year is going to be a year of writing. Writing for my blog, my course and other bits and pieces I want to write. Write, write, write!!
2. Draw/Paint.I used to draw every day, it was something I loved doing and created some piece in my head. I would love to pick up drawing and painting again in 2015, since I barely do it anymore.
3. Eat less crap!This is something my mom and I already made a start with the last couple of months, we have started to eat less processed food and making our dinner from scratch with fresh ingredients. January we will step up our game and stop eating sugar, of course, this doesn’t mean we will never eat sugar, but only on special occasions such as Christmas and birthdays. But with this as prospect I kind off went overboard with eating candy and sugary treats, the last months. So much that my dentist won’t be happy when he sees my tooth as I’m pretty sure I have a hole in it, because it hurts when I eat.  
4. To challenge myself!!!!So 2015 is going to be a year of challenging myself to do the thing outside my comfort zone. My first step will be to have a small job for only a couple of hours a week, so that I will have a reason to get out of the house, be among other human beings and create a rhythm for myself so I might get more productive.
5. Read more!I love reading, but most of the time I just find other things to do and sometimes it’s just passing time and the perfect opportunity to read. I’m going to set a goal for myself and it will be 21 books in a year, as 21 is the age I will turn in 2015.

These are my five resolutions that I will stick to!

I hope 2015 is going to be a good and positive year for everyone.

Happy 2015

Everybody is equal

Everybody is equal, therefore everybody should be treated as such. No matter colour your skin is.

Over time a lot on this matter is changed, but not enough. Racism is still something that is happening every day. You might have heard on the news, internet about protest in America and perhaps other signs. Discrimination is so deeply rooted that sometimes we discriminate without knowing we do, this to me was very upsetting. Because I would like to say that in every situation, I wouldn’t, but I’m not sure how I would react when in a situation. Personally, I think this is a bad thing that needs to be changed drastically.

Although I might not be the person to say anything on this matter, as I don’t know a lot about this matter and have never experienced discrimination myself. Also, I’m not the person to change it either, I do not have the money, dominance or connection to make a difference. But looking away and pretending it doesn’t exist, it isn’t happening, will not make it better or go away either. I think if enough people will talk about this topic and start realizing what is happening, someone might either find the solution or people will become more aware of their actions (although not everybody will, sadly).

I know this isn’t anything like what I normally put on my blog, but as Louise, from sprinkle of glitter, pointed out to me that talking about this and make people more aware is a step in the right direction and I would happily help will that.

Not that pretty, but delicious anyway

Already a week of the month December has passed and I feel as if December is running away with me. For today I wanted to do a baking post of a recipe I wanted to make since last year out of my wonderful Christmas cookbook. This hasn’t been a grand success, they don’t look in the slightest way on the picture in the book. Although the taste is fine, delicious even, and that is the reason I still wanted to share them with you.

You need:

2  egg whites
275 g  icing sugar
150 g almonds, finely ground
1 ½ tablespoon of cinnamon

Recipe:

Beat the eggs with a wooden spoon in a big bowl. Gradually add the icing sugar to the eggs and mix together until smooth. Mix in the tablespoons of cinnamon. Hold 100 grams of this mixture/frosting covered aside for later.  Now it is time for you to use your hands. Mix the almonds to the mixture (you can add ½ teaspoon of water, but first mix well with your hands. The heat will soften the mixture).

Sprinkle a bit of icing sugar on your working surface, to prevent your mixture to stick to it. Roll the dough/mixture till a thickness of 3mm. Divide a thin layer of the left over frosting on top of your dough (make sure you don’t put on a too thick of a layer as I did, it made everything a bit messy). Leave this, uncovered, for 30-35 min until the frosting is hardened.

 

Preheat the oven to 150◦C.

 

Create the shapes of your cookies with a cookie cutter, doesn’t necessarily need to be a star. Before you start cutting out your cookies, coat them with a little icing sugar, so the dough won’t stick as much.

Put them in the oven for about ten minutes total, until they are slightly firm. 5 minutes on the doughy side and 5 minutes on the icing side.

Leave them to cool down completely.

Happy shoes

Pointy, maroon, they make me happy. Everytime I look down to my feet, a smile turns on my face.

I love the way they look, my feet look small, the colour is amazing and the shoe is so different from what I already have. I love that they remind me of witches, perhaps I like that so much because my little girl's dream was to become a witch. Sadly, that dream didn’t came true.

October Favourites

Last month a few things have happened, first of all I became the owner of a driver's license. October the 15^th I had my exam and past, it took me exactly 100 hours spread over two years. A bit long that is, but nonetheless, I past.

            Something else that happened in the month of October, was something I never thought I would be doing. I Shared my blog via Facebook with everyone I had on my friends list there. So now I suspect people that I come across in real life now know about my blog, which is terrifying to me and also set the bar of posting a lot higher and made it difficult for me to post anything new. But I started to miss blogging, as a place where I can be myself and do what I love, and wanted to get started again. So here I am, taking another step forward and facing one of my fears for yet another time by telling you about a few favourites of this month.

Blouse & Vest: This was a combination I accidentally tried. First, I was wearing the blouse on its own, but this was a bit cold, so I popped my green vest underneath it. Surprisingly, I love the way this looked and it was warm, cosy and comfortable to wear, perfect when the temperature starts to drop (if it ever is going to, at least).

Mac and cheese casserole: A bit strange for me to want to try out, as I am not the greatest cheese lover and neither am I a fan of pastas. But even stranger was that I loved the way it tasted, the cheese sauce was creamy, soft, sweet and just delicious. 

Vegetable soup: An other food favourite in October. I found this recipe a few months ago on Tanya Burr’s blog and wanted to try it out ever since. And now I have, I can’t say anything else as yumm.. It was so satisfying to eat, because it filled me up completely and nothing feels as good than to be completely filled up with a delicious meal.

Autumn & Winter

Evenings are getting darker, temperature drops, rainy days ahead of us, leaves are falling, a cold is waiting for us around the corner to clog our nose and hurt our throat, wait a while and it will start to freeze, get so cold you can’t feel your toes, no more the warmth of the sun to brighten your day and give the energy you need so much. No worries, it isn’t as bad as it all sounds, there are many things to look forward to.

 

Cosy blankets
Cosy socks
Knitted sweaters
Candle lights flickering and lighting the room
Hot chocolate, who taste the best if your toes are frozen
More baths in the evening
Spending rainy days under the duvet watching films or reading books
Time for comfort foods
Walking through the leaves that have fallen
Pumpkins
Sinterklaas and the delicious treats that come with it
The feeling Christmas is approaching
Christmas itself and the delicious dinners
Twinkle lights that light the world in these dark days
Scarves, hats and boots
Oversized jumpers
Building snowmen’s
Watching snowflakes dancing  
Fireworks

Day Zero updat #2

This update on the Day Zero Project is a bit late, I said I was going to have one every three months, but nonetheless it is here a month later. A lot has happened since my last update, but you might have already read it in some previous posts. I got a few more goals achieved and those I will share with you right now.

Write a letter to myself to be opened when the 1001 days are over:
Finally, I made some time to write this letter and now the only thing I need to do is to find an envelope to keep it in until I’m aloud to read it again.

Start a study in September:
Perhaps you now that this wasn’t exactly a piece of cake, quite the contrary. To make a long story short, my first attempt to start a study (journalism) has failed which left me a bit down and confused, but I got back up and now I started a writing course/self-study. Saturday the 20^th of September was the first time I went, I was very poorly of all the nerves (I was sick the entire week because of it, but once I was in it wasn’t that bad and definitely a place I could learn a lot of useful things (still very scary though). I’m quite proud I took this step, because it fits me a lot better. Full story here.

Share some writing I’ve made
In my last update I told you I was about to do so and now I have. If you are curious what I’m talking about, you can read my story here.

Give my blog a new layout
Have you noticed something different? Yes, well, I hope so. I worked very hard on this. I know this might not be perfect, but for someone who isn’t quite good with technology and making a site look pretty I think it turned out good. And I can’t help feeling a little proud of myself.

Swim in the sea with Luna
For anyone who didn’t know, Luna is my dog. It wasn’t really the biggest success as we thought it would since she loves water and to swim in it. But she thought the waves were a bit frightening and it bothered her we were in the water with only our heads to see, it all made her a bit nervous and extremely happy when we got safely out of the water.

Go to the zoo
Another thing I’ve done during my vacation. We went to the zoo in Amsterdam, Artis. We had a lovely time even though I was disappointed with the size of the cages the animals were in. I know I’m not an expert on this, but I thought they seemed very small.

Bake 5 different muffins
Now I’m on three muffins, my latest addition is one I shared here and it’s a chocolate chip muffin, very yummy.

Read 100 books
I only got to 6, which means I haven’t read that much lately, only three books, but it’s still better than nothing right?
Diamond Star Halo by Tiffany Murray
This book I picked up in the sales when I spent my day in Zwolle and it wasn’t just a splurge, because I enjoyed reading the book and entering its world.
F*ck I’m in my twenties by Emma Koening
I got this book for my twentieth birthday, to perhaps prepare myself for what is to come. (I really liked flicking through and reading all the fun things that are inside. It’s grade for when you’re bored or waiting for something to get ready and have nothing else to do, although you might finish it before you actually need too because it’s great and very hard to leave it for another time. I finished the in only a couple of hours, because I kept reaching for it.
Flowers in the attic by Virginia Andrews
A very disturbing and a bit depressing book, which my mom once recommended to me since the age 12 I believe. I finally got around it and gave it a try. It’s one of those books you get sucked in easily, even if you get a bit tired with all what goes wrong, at least for me. But it’s not a book you should expect from to get you in a good mood, because it isn’t the happiest story ever told.