Feel the fear and do it anyway

Today I wanted to share something that I have learned when I was in therapy and that I think it might help you too. It’s about fear and how not let it, live your life. Fear is only holding you back from living the life you like or/and deserve. The thing is, that it shouldn’t, because doing just that, the thing you're most afraid of, will give you the greatest rush you have ever had!

Of course at first you feel very anxious or perhaps even during, so much you consider not doing it to avoid, but after you have done exactly that you feel so strong.
You not only show the people who say you can’t that you can, but you also prove to yourself you can do it. And you know what? You are much stronger than you think you are, you have the ability to do more than you believe you can.

I just wanted to let you know that you are amazing and that you shouldn’t hold back because some says so or because you think you can't or are afraid to do so.

how to survive to colder months list

It officially became autumn. What means; comfy sweaters, hot chocolate, falling leaves and cozy weather to be inside with. Here in the Netherlands it’s still fairly warm weather, but colder weather will be coming soon and to not make the same mistakes as I did last year I made a list of what I will need to survive the cold weather of the fall and winter, so lets prepare probably:
 

• The mistake I have made last year is not having the proper shoes, mine were firs of all not waterproof and so my feed were cold and wet while you where shoes to keep your feed warm. So for this year I’m on the hunt for cute shoes that will also keep my feed warm and dry.

• A thick winter coat that leaves the wind outside, instead of letting it go right trough you.

• Hot chocolate, probably most important. If you could not find the two above you can always warm yourself with a nice cup of hot chocolate, with a little cinnamon, marshmallows and whipped cream, mmmm(or another version of course if you like).

• A maxi-skirt, you can hide to most warm (ugly) socks or/and tights and no one will know a thing about it, you will still look cute and your warm and cozy.

• of course all the thick and warm socks, tights and leggings you will need.

• sweaters and cardigans to keep you warm and at least one big oversized warm and thick sweater or cardigan to be in when you’re in the comfort of your own home.

• A large stack of books and magazines to read in your favourite chair, with your favourite blanket.

• Hair and facial masks, scrubs, lotions, oils, etc to have a day to prep yourself.

I’m already enjoying some yummy goods that come with the colder months; Pepetnoten!!, even though Sinterklaas hasn’t arrived yet.

What is in your “how to survive to colder months list”

Nothing to wear?

You probably wonder: what’s that mountain of clothes doing there. Well I was sorting out the clothes I have, making new sets of clothes. It’s like shopping clothes without spending it. Why? I always seem to forget about a few peaces of clothes. Finding them is like having new clothes.

If you think you have nothing to wear, just take a close look to what is in your closet. You have more then you think. Maybe sort out your clothes will work for you as well.

It works for me!! The problem with me is I always wear the same clothes over and over again (you recognize this?). Even though I don’t have to, I have lots of other clothes I could wear. By sorting out my clothes I know how to wear those other clothes so I am able to wear them.

I sort out my clothes a few times a year. The reason I recommend this to every one is because you will always find a few peaces of clothes and next to that you will also find new ways to style your clothes. The best way to do this is with a friend a your mother or an other family member, that way you have some input from others and you end up with even more sets and it’s more fun to do it with somebody then doing it alone.

So just give it a try, it really works.

A not so quick update + TIPS on What next after rejection!!

It all started at the beginning of this school year. I began to study ‘social legal services’. But after two weeks already, I noticed this wasn’t anything I thought it would be and was nothing that would suit me, but at first I told myself ‘it was just because it was new to me and I just needed to get used to this new chapter of my life’.

It wasn’t after a good two months I realised I couldn’t get used to it. It was nothing I wanted, so I told my mom and my mentor (who still thought she could change my mind during the rest of the year. And I did tried to change my mind, to like my study, but that didn’t happen. At this point I got very confused, I didn’t knew what I wanted to do with my life, what I would like to study next and could not bring up enough

Motivation to keep going this year, but never the less I kept going. I started doing a course (How to find a study that fits you). I have done a post on that. Trying to find me again and what I want and like to do (still searching).

After the course I did found out I wanted to write (to be a writer or some sort). So I signed up for Creative Writing. The study had a selection, I did came through the first round based on my submitted stories (I was so proud). I was invited to the first selection day. That day was at the ninth of April (Saturday last week).

I believe I have never been so nervous as I was then. I didn’t knew what I could expect from that day. I knew there would be 80 other people I had to compete with. To be honest; I am very very shy and insecure, especially if I am in a big group of people.

So there I sat at the first workshop of the day looking and listening to the others, hearing how good they actually are telling myself that they where better than me, that I wasn’t good enough. (stupid I know!). The rest of the day I did tried to give my best, but speaking for a big group of people I barely know wasn’t something that made me feel confident. I already give up the hope I would get through the next round (something I regret).

When finally the day was ending and I was heading home, the stress disappeared.

At Tuesday I would get the results of the day and I would hear I was through or not. That day and the rest of the week I was at my grandmothers, she was ill and I was there to take care of her and to keep her company (nothing serious, just the flu. She is better now).

Unfortunately I got a email with the massage ‘I wasn’t selected, but that I didn’t had to give up’. The news made my sad and normally I would go to my room and cry my eyes out, but my grandmother was sleeping and I felt a bit trapped and didn’t want to make any noise or sign I didn’t felt well. It wasn’t until Thursday night I got home and be comfortable to let it all out. Now I’m home for to days and all the stress of the past few weeks is getting out and making me sick L .

Now it is time to figure out what to do next. I don’t have a plan B.

It is strange to think that last year I was convinced I would never be that person who would start a study, find out it is not what they’re looking for, and move on to another. Or even worse the person who takes a year off to figure out what she wants and here I am taking a year off. I always thought that those people didn’t put enough effort, turns out these tings just happen.

Now I just feel a bit lost….

If you wonder why I share this with you; I just needed to get it out, to tell someone about it. And you never know if someone learns from this post or maybe I learn from it.

Some tips I got during these weeks:

1. Never ever give up on a dream. (no matter what, try again)

2. Always look at the positives (even if you don’t see them, they are there!!!!)

3. Let it all out, you are aloud to. (sometimes it’s good to cry your eyes out, it’s all you need. It hurts…)

4. The first plan is never the only one, there are other ways as well. (take a look at them)

5. Ask why they didn’t choose you, learn from the feedback. (learn from your mistakes)

6. You are not the only one. (there others who go through

something similar.)

7. Last but not least: Don’t worry be happy!!

　

　

　
 

Get out of your comfort zone!!! that's where life is

Hello everyone, did you all had a nice week?

This post is for those of you that are like me. Someone who wears the same outfit (or identically ones) every single day and want to change that. I think the key to be confident is to feel good and beautiful in your skin, and sometimes you have to get out of your comfort zone to get to that feeling.

My boring outfit, consist of a black simple bodycon dress with a sweater over that or a skirt with a similar silhouette to create two identical outfits. Why?? Because I blend in with everyone else. I’m a very shy person and I’m not feeling confident being in the spotlight, I get very nervous. But It’s time to get out of my comfort zone.

If you want to change your boring everyday outfit, don’t go overboard with it and change the whole outfit at a time. It can be to big of a change for you and you want to go running home and change. Take baby steps.

Tip 1: Instead to change your outfit at a time, change bit’s of it. For example; when your everyday outfit consist of a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, change the basic pair of jeans for one with a print (dots, flowers….) or change the basic shirt for one with lace details or a fun print.

I’m going to change my simple black skirt for one with a similar silhouette, only this skirt is lace and green.

Tip 2: A statement piece of jewellery. It instantly makes your outfit more interesting.

Tip 3: Change your hair, I don’t mean to chop it all of (unless you feel like it). Just put your hair in a ponytail, braid, bun or ad a headpiece. Go for inspiration on the internet/ magazine. When you change your hair, it gives you a fresh look.

Tip 4: Last but not least. Change your makeup. Wear some lipstick for a change, try a Smokey eye or a winked eyeliner.

And when you feel confident with your first step, then take the next.

Hope it is of any help.

PS. It is always a good idea to get out of your comfort zone and start living!!!!

Sometimes the wrong choices bring us to the right places

The time comes for everyone, that they have to make a choice in live. For example; I had to make the choice about what I would want to study. It so happened that I haven’t the right choice immediately, what brought me back to this difficult decision I rather would not have to make again. What would I want? What do I like? What will be my next study?

And I have found out what I like and what I think is the right choice for me right now, but that isn’t where I’m going to talk about in this post. No, I’m going to give you all a few tips that helped me to find the right job/study or better said my goal.

• There’s no such thing as a perfect choice. So there is no reason to beat yourself up for it. The choice you’re going to make is a choice for right now and not for the far future. Nobody knows what the future will bring, the future isn’t fixed. So just make a choice that feels good for right now.

 

• Take a step back. When your stressing out about making that choice and it is the only thing you think about. Then there is no way you can make the right choice, because when your getting all fixed up about making the right choice, you will not have a clear mind to look at the options probably. So do something that takes your mind of it. Take a step back, so you can have a fresh look to it again.

 

• Create a top three of your dream jobs (or five if you want to). This was a assignment of a course I took to find out what I wanted to study. With this assignment it is the idea that it doesn’t have to be realistic, it can be everything you want.

 

• After you’ve done that; think about what you would have to do to accomplish your dream job(s) or find out if there is a job that is quite similar and that you can accomplish. Google is a great way to find out what all there is you can do. Take your time doing this.

 

• Look around and see if there is a course offered to help you with your choice or maybe your school provide help by making your choice in study. Don’t be limited to just your neighbourhood. I’ve done such a course and it really helped me a lot.

 

• If you found a few options, but you can’t choose between them. Make a list of pros and cons, and rate those pros and cons, at the end you count all the pros together and all cons at each of your options. The only thing there is left to do is pull the cons of the pros and compare all the results and the option with the highest results is probably the best choice.

Keep in mind that when you have made your choice and you find out it isn’t what you thought it would be. It isn’t the end of the world. Because ‘Sometimes the wrong choices bring us to the right places”. because I’ve made that wrong choice, I found out a lot about me and what I do and don’t like that I wouldn’t found if I had not make this choice.

 

I wish you all lot’s of luck finding your goal in live.

X Esther