London day 3, 13 days until Christmas

 

Day 3 Wednesday, 25 November 2015, 

After yet another night full of sleep, we walked towards the tower bridge, another classic when it comes to trips to London. We had passed it yesterday evening on the bus as well, but wanted to see it during the daylight as well. Plus a great point to walk from along the Thames. From the first of December there would have been an adorable Christmas market, but unfortunately we won’t be there then.

Next stop the St. Pauls cathedral, it’s huge and beautiful. Perhaps a bit strange, but I thought the backside with the trees was much prettier than the front. I guess that’s just a matter of opinion. We only went a few steps inside, but thought it was too expensive to go in. But just seeing it was good enough for now.

There is a whole lot more to do, so up to the next stop. Kings cross, to see 9 ¾ something that warmed my Harry Potter heart very much. And the shop next to it was of much my delight as well and would have bought everything in the store if I had enough money, but I didn’t so I had to make some choices.
Kings cross was just a quick stop, now it was about the books. I had chosen two bookshops I wanted to go to. One a second hand, where I bought four Narnia books. The next bookshop was better than I imagined, Persephone books. The atmosphere was a delight, the books beautiful. The atmosphere was so good that without anxiety I asked the saleslady for help. This is something I never do, I always feel so nervous and anxious in stores, especially when it’s quiet inside and it was. But when I decide to step towards a saleslady I get all nervous, I stutter and no words come out of my mouth like I intended. In this store nothing, just a normal conversation. The lady was so excited and was telling about the books in such a passionate way that it made it very easy for me to ask for help in finding a book. I didn’t knew where to start so any help was needed and now I have a book I’m excited to start to read.
So if you ever find yourself in London and you happen to be a book lover, I recommend to go and have a look in this bookshop yourself. I know I will the next time I’m around.

Now we had my highlight of the trip we had planned to go to Oxford street and see the Christmas lights. By this time my mood had changed drastically, my exhaustion had caught up with me and because of the many people that walk in Oxford street my anxiety got triggered. Not to mention that my feet were killing me and the heavy bag full of books we had no time to drop off. It was almost the entire time I was on Oxford street I felt this way, but luckily it melted away eventually. 

09:00 pm time to get some dinner before we head towards the hotel again.

What was I happy to finally lay in bed and have a proper rest to my swollen feet.

 

 

 

 

The Persephone shop: 59 Lamb's Conduit Street London.

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London day 2, 18 days until Christmas

Day 2 Tuesday, 24 November 2015,

I’ve slept, already this day starts out better. And when I’ve had a full night's sleep, and therefore have more energy,  I have much more control over my anxiety and OCD.

10.30 am, we stand waiting for the horse guard change. To be honest, this was a bit of a letdown, the whole time it seemed they were just standing still, not doing much exciting at all. Not that this is a problem, we made it fun or at least created something to laugh about.
After all that we went for a walk, past the Big Ben. Something you must have seen when going to London. Our walk took us much further, pass Harrods where of course we went in. But of course we needed something to eat during the day. We sat down in a restaurant for some sandwiches (not really something for me, I’m not a big bread/sandwich eater), it had the cleanest toilet with a lot of space and real small towels you put in the washing bin after using it and after you can use some hand lotion. This made me really happy, because I hate going to the toilet in public places and this mad it easier to do.

After our walk, we took the subway to go to the Hyde Park for the Christmas market, that was said to find a place there. It did, although it wasn’t a Christmas market I ever been to. It had too many attractions and too little stalls to my taste. But was still a good place to get into the Christmas spirit.

Our feed are tired, but we are not done with the day yet. Luckily we do not have to walk, we can just sit in the bus and enjoy the two hour long tour through London. The bus, totally empty with only the four of us in it. Which was a recipe for Laughter and silliness,  great fun.

 

 

 

 

London day 1, 21 days until Christmas

As you might know I went for four days in London. About every day I have made a post that will be spread through this month for you to read. Although I have very much enjoyed this trip it has also been a giant step away from my comfort zone and triggered both my anxiety and OCD. That’s why I decided not only to tell about all that was great, but open the door slightly so you can see bits of what goes around in my head. The trip I went on was together with my Grandmother (my mom's mom), an aunt and a niece.
1:00 am, By this time I wished it was 5 o’clock time to get out of bed. I had a hard time falling asleep. Perhaps it was the nerves for going to the plane the coming day (what if my bag is too big? Or if I have to many fluids with me?), perhaps it was the street light shining into the room from both sides, which provides enough light to read a book by or perhaps it were the two clocks ticking (one of which telling me the time every half hour).
4:45 am, finally I can go out of bed and make myself ready. Brush my teeth, wash my face, drink a cup of tea slowly because now I have all the time.

In the car on our way to the airplane, I probably slept for an hour, much needed I don’t know how to get through the day without the slightest bit of sleep. But when I woke up we were in traffic and not near Schiphol.
            We were late, there wasn’t any time to go to the toilet. A shame because I was in much need. Fortunately, I was aloud to bring all that I had packed, nothing needed to be thrown away.
The plane journey was quick, although slightly uncomfortable because of my very full bladder. I can’t tell you how glad I was when we landed and I finally could go to the toilet, even if it wasn’t the cleanest toilet.

Time to buy a train ticket and make our way to London. When we arrived, we first went somewhere to eat, a Hamburger it turned out to be.
Now it was time to go to our Hotel, to drop off our bags. This made my nerves, my thoughts jumped to the worst conclusions. When we finally arrived at the doorsteps there was something wrong with our booking. Only one room was booked, but we definitely booked two. Luckily, this problem was relatively quickly solved.
With our heavy suitcases we went up a narrow stairs to get to our room. It was only a couple of minutes when I discovered several long brown hairs on the bed and towels. This made me anxious, nervous about tonight, let's say this very much triggered my OCD. But lets shall I be honest, my eyes always pick this up very quickly and often sees those things when others don’t even notice.

Alright, don’t think about tonight, right now just enjoy what you are doing. This is what I whispered to myself when we were on our way to Nothing hill, to stroll around a bit go in a couple of shops. It went well, although my lack of sleep started to catch up with me now. Now the adrenaline was mostly gone.
It was this evening I had the most delicious meal. The best soup I ever had, with a delicious garlic bread and as desert very well made fresh ice-cream.

Being in the Czech Replublic for two weeks

 Two weeks in
the Czech Republic, a vacation long waited for. Not exactly what we expected to be. Meaning the first week was a bit stressful, we really had to get into the holiday spirits and I guess because of stressful years and because putting a bit too much pressure on the vacation. Not only that, but my OCD was a bit that got in the way quite often, there was just a lot that triggered.

Now it isn’t that we had a totally horrible holiday/vacation, I still stand with: that we really needed one to wind down a bit, to get away from it all. It just took a bit longer that passed vacation trips.
The time being in the Czech Republic we felt and acted like a proper family again, doing things to getter like card games, going to castle, the city’s and mountains. No distraction from computers, televisions and later telephones (because of the limited time we could use electricity). My head finally got a bit clearer and finally get delving into books (the weeks leading to our holiday I tried many times, but constantly fall asleep and no words stuck with me).

I love getting away from the surroundings at home every now and then, enjoy all the unfamiliar views and distracted from all the thoughts that normally wander through my mind and  pursuits I would normally be doing. Be free to do things you love but can’t do at home, such have long walks through mountains and hills, go to pretty castles and wonder about all the stories that have once lived behind those castle walls, be surrounded by a different culture, different buildings, breathe in that air, live in a tent and have a little luxury so I can appreciate more what you have at home.

It definitely have been better too, not only I got a clearer mind and new motivation to get things going, but also a book full of successes (moments where my worst fears, in terms of my OCD, didn’t come out) that would really help me with my therapy. It means I have some evidence I can use with my cognitive therapy to help me convince my OCD really isn’t that needed. And I needed that, because before I went away on this trip, I felt terrified that my OCD would only could get worse and not better, I couldn’t get my head wrapped around a life with little to no OCD. But now I feel a little more hopeful.

So even though we had a bit of a rough start, we really enjoyed the trip.

I’m now only a week home and the summer weather has now made place for a very autumnal like weather (rain and a lot colder). Not that I mind, as much I wish summer not to end, I do feel excited for a new season so I can get cozy. Our house has now filled itself with the smell of apple pie, in the autumn my dad and I make apple pies out of the apple from the trees outside in our garden, we still have to bake some more, there are still many apples left. 

The view of our second and main campsite.

The first castle we went to was closed

The second last campsite we stood on.

 A day spent in Praque

 

 

 Terezin: A place that made me quiet, all the horrible things that have happend in there.