Dreams and reality, 20 days until Christmas

Perhaps it is the nostalgic treats that comes out when Sinterklaas is coming and of course the Christmassy treats. But lately I’ve been wishing I was still a child, of course I do know I am lucky for having such a great and carefree childhood and many are not as lucky as I am. But I can’t help feeling as if things were easier then, of course they were. Back then I did not suffer from my OCD or social anxiety, I was free. Although I always have been shy, but as a child, I did not worry about what other people really thought about me or what I wore.

Things were so much more exciting and “fun”, when Sinterklaas came I was allowed to put a shoe out and sing to it and get excited for the next morning, because Sinterklaas and Piet would have put something in there. Kruidnoten, a frog or a mouse (my favourite kind of candy) or a small present. It was so magical. But would I put my shoe out today, it would still be empty the next.

Back when I was a child, I didn’t want to be a writer, something I hope to become one day now, this is not because I didn’t think it was a great profession. It was because I thought that as soon as I put my dreams and the adventures I imagined to have onto paper, it would mean they would never happen to me. Like what Cinderella said, that if she would tell the animals about her dream it would never come true. And I much rather would live those adventures, visited those worlds myself than to write about them.
The many things I wanted to be when I grow where a witch (whether that was through Hogwarts or like in charmed didn’t matter), a fairy, a mermaid, a pink troll or any other magical creature. I wanted to be an adventurer and go on adventures in places like Neverland, Wonderland, Narnia, the Wizarding world and some made up ones by myself. I used to play them out together with my brother, who back then was my best buddy (unfortunately he is going to puberty now and that causes somewhat friction between us, but I believe it will all be okay in the end). I played those games a lot longer than I probably should, when my friends were already getting on the periods and interested in boys I was not. I just wanted to be in my many imaginary worlds.
            Of course, time is passing by I started to realise that I might not find that I had magical powers, or grow a tail instead of legs, have wings coming out of my shoulder blades and perhaps never find a magically world (although of course secretly I hope I ones do;)). I know have started to write down does fantasies and live those adventures through the characters I make up. I even started to write, what I hope one day will be a book.

I know we can’t be living like a child does forever and we have to, to some extent, grow up and create a live ourselves. Although we should hold on to your imagination, positivity and hopes.